The Kids Again
by CharlieCaller
Summary: The orphanage is bombed, so the kids cause some fun at the MASH - BJ finds a friend in one girl, Klinger puts on a show and the shells follow them to the 4077th.


Disclaimer: The characters used in the following story do not belong to me, they belong to M*A*S*H and its related companies. I am not making a profit from using them in this story.  
  
Title: The Kids Again  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The compound of the 4077th M*A*S*H was silent that dawn, as the sun crept over the hill. Light was just beginning to flood into the camp, signalling that soon people would be awakening and going about their daily business.  
  
One Corporal, the Company Clerk of the outfit called Radar O'Reilly, was awoken more abruptly than most, by the chirpy ring of the telephone located in his office. Grumpily he stumbled out of bed and put on the headphones to listen to the conversation. "4077th M*A*S*H," he greeted, a little groggily.  
  
"Hi, is that Radar there? This is Meg Cratty, from the orphanage," she began.  
  
"Oh, hi Ms Cratty," Radar greeted, happy to know that it was not a demanding Army Sergeant that had disturbed him from his sleep. "How are you?"  
  
"Well, not so great at the moment, thanks for asking anyway. We need to evacuate, we're being shelled over these parts."  
  
"Shelled?" Radar grabbed a pen and paper, knowing exactly what was coming. "What time do you think you'll arrive?"  
  
Radar had read her mind, once again, and chuckling Meg replied, "Thank you, Radar. We'll arrive probably sometime before lunchtime. I'm sorry to put you and your CO to all this trouble again, but..."  
  
"Don't worry about it, Ma'am," Radar replied. "We'll be ready for when you arrive. Safe journey," he said, putting the phone back in its box. He remained calm for a moment, and then realised that he had about a dozen children arriving in a few hours. "Yikes!"  
  
He grabbed his robe and his boots, and armed with a clipboard for anything he would need to write down, he sprinted clumsily across the compound towards Colonel Potter's quarters. He did not bother to knock, but once the Colonel found out about his cause for awakening him, he would not mind, Radar told himself.  
  
"Colonel! Colonel Potter, sir!"  
  
"Jumpin' Jodhpurs, Radar, what time is it? And what's all the hoo-ha about?"  
  
"Just before five o'clock, sir," Radar answered. "And the hoo-ha is that Ms. Cratty from the orphanage has just called. She says that there is shelling where she is, and she has to evacuate the children."  
  
"So you said she could bring them here?" Radar nodded. "Good boy, Radar. Now," he began, putting on his glasses. "We've got some work to do. What time to they arrive?"  
  
"They said just before lunchtime," Radar informed him.  
  
"Well, that gives us a few hours. Okay, the first thing I want you to do is wake Major Houlihan, and then, if you get out of her tent alive after that, I want you to inform the cook that we are going to have extra little mouths to feed. Next, I want you to..."  
  
"...Make sure that everyone has beds assigned to their tent, even Major Burns. But before I do any of that I'll make the announcement to the camp," Radar finished, scurrying away to do his work.  
  
He reached his quarters and started the PA system, ready to make the announcement. He pressed the button and began. "Attention, attention all personnel. The orphanage is being shelled, so the kids are coming to visit. They should arrive at about lunchtime. You will receive bedding to set up in your tent."  
  
Hawkeye awoke at the announcement. After yawning, he said, "Beej, did you hear that?" A snore for a reply indicated that the answer was negative. He threw a pillow over to his cot and tried again. "BJ?"  
  
Captain Hunnicutt grunted and asked, "What?" to his pillow.  
  
"We've got visitors, in the shape of kids from the orphanage," he informed him.  
  
"Oh, not them again," Frank groaned, waking up. "They came about six months ago. Why again?"  
  
"Frank, they don't ask for their home to be bombed," Hawkeye reminded him.  
  
Frank grumbled something under his breath before heading out of the tent to take a shower.  
  
"Doesn't he have kids of his own?" BJ asked, finally surfacing.  
  
"Three, as far as I know. That's probably as far as he knows as well," Hawkeye replied.  
  
BJ rolled his eyes and grinned. "I wonder if he has photos of them."  
  
"Only four. He stuck them in a 'Four for a Quarter' booth," Hawkeye told him. "He found the 25 cents on the floor. Come on, I guess we'd better get moving," he said, seeing Radar scuttle across the compound.  
  
Radar, having finished the announcement, was running over to Major Houlihan's tent to inform her of the procedures for the morning. In his panic, he unfortunately forgot to knock on the door, and burst into her tent, where the Major was getting dressed.  
  
"Corporal!" She screamed. As she grabbed her robe, Radar found the first thing he could to cover his eyes, which was unfortunately her bra hanging on her indoor clothes line.  
  
"Do you mind!" She grabbed the bra, now safely unexposed.  
  
"I never saw anything!" Radar protested.  
  
"Except the inside of my underwear! What do you want?" Major Houlihan's voice was still high-pitched.  
  
"Major, Colonel Potter has told me to tell you that you are in charge of the bedding to be placed in peoples' tents for the kids to sleep on when they get here," Radar spoke hurriedly in one breath. "We are expecting the orphans before lunchtime."  
  
"Thank you, Corporal. Dismissed," she said. As he turned to leave, she yelled, "AND THE NEXT TIME YOU COME IN HERE, KNOCK FIRST!"  
  
"Yes Ma'am!" Radar said, saluting with his clipboard. As he did so, another piece of her underwear became caught upon it. He gasped before removing it, placing it untidily upon the line and running out of the door before she could yell at him even more.  
  
Radar's next stop was the Mess Tent, where he found Igor busily boiling something white and lumpy in a big pot. Not daring to think of what it could be, he called to Private Straminski, "Hey, Igor!"  
  
"Radar, what can I do you for?"  
  
"You heard the announcement, I guess. The kids are coming, from the orphanage."  
  
"Sure, I heard it."  
  
"Colonel Potter says, can you get some extra food for them?"  
  
"Of course, that's what that is over there," he said, pointing to the aforementioned slop.  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"I'm not sure, but it came from some kind of recipe book, and apparently kids love it. So I cooked it."  
  
"What's in it?"  
  
"Rice, milk, stuff like that."  
  
"Looks..."  
  
"...Disgusting, I know," Igor finished. "But, it doesn't taste too bad."  
  
"I'll believe you," Radar said, not at all believing him. "See you later."  
  
Radar started out of the Mess Tent, but decided to stay two seconds longer, seeing Major Houlihan marching across the compound. She, along with a group of enlisted men, was heading into the Supply Tent, ready to supply the required cots and bedding for the orphans to sleep on.  
  
"Yes, that's fine, Private," she said. "Those two to Colonel Potter's tent, four in the Officer's Club... Klinger! Stop adjusting your dress and start helping!"  
  
"Major, if he doesn't hold these two ripped parts together, you and every other member of the camp will probably go blind," Sergeant Zale informed her dryly.  
  
"Hey!" Klinger said, offended at this.  
  
"Klinger, change your dress. Zale, these two into the Swamp," she commanded, breaking up the possibility of a fight.  
  
Zale was given two cots and bedding on top, which he struggled across the compound with. He banged on the door of the Swamp with his boot, and the two Captains came to let him in.  
  
"Just put them anywhere, Zale, we'll sort them out from here," Hawkeye told him. "Do you know how many kids we're getting?"  
  
"From what I heard, about ten," he told them. "Poor tykes, getting shelled like that. See ya all later," he said, leaving the Swamp.  
  
"Did I just imagine that or was that Sergeant Zale feeling sorry for someone?" BJ queried, rubbing his eyes with his fists as if not quite believing the sight he had just witnessed.  
  
"You heard it here first, folks. Besides, kids can get through even the most metal of hearts. Just look at Margaret the last time they visited."  
  
Frank returned, back from his shower. "And so it begins," he muttered, moving to the mirror to shave.  
  
"And so what begins, Frank?" Hawkeye asked, tucking the sheets in one of the cots.  
  
"Well, all these kids here. Pretty soon, they'll be overrunning the camp, eating in our Mess Tent, operating for us in the OR!"  
  
"They'll save more people than you do," Hawkeye commented.  
  
"I'm a better surgeon than those kids!"  
  
"If that's true, not by much," BJ added.  
  
"Ouch! Look what you made me do, I just cut myself."  
  
"Sue yourself for malpractice," Hawkeye suggested. "Join the millions."  
  
"The Frank Burns Malpractice Club," BJ said.  
  
"Ah! You're as bad as each other," Frank grumbled, leaving the tent now dressed and shaved.  
  
"There had to be a compliment in there somewhere," BJ mused.  
  
"A compliment? Coming from him? He wouldn't know a compliment if it hit him in the face," Hawkeye said. "There, done. Shall we go to breakfast?"  
  
"Is that what they're calling it these day?"  
  
"It's a nickname. Calling it 'Dinner from three days ago' is too much of a mouthful."  
  
"A mouthful that tastes better than any mouthful of breakfast," BJ pointed out, leaving the Swamp after Hawkeye.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Hawkeye and BJ were playing a leisurely game of chess when the wagon of children rolled into the camp at a quarter to twelve. They abandoned their game and hurried over to greet the visitors.  
  
"Hey, Meg," Hawkeye greeted. "How's it going?"  
  
"Hi, Hawkeye. Not bad, except for the shelling," she replied, good- naturedly. "How's life in these parts?"  
  
"About the same. The war really gets in the way of the war," he said. One of the children leaned out of the side of the van and pulled Hawkeye's ear. "Ah," he turned. "Hey, I've only got two ears, and these came as a set."  
  
"Hi, Meg," Colonel Potter greeted. "Good journey?"  
  
"Smooth enough," she said, lifting out a child and handing him to Klinger. "Still in dresses, Klinger?"  
  
"I'm still here, aren't I?" He replied, taking the child to the Mess Tent.  
  
"BJ," Meg greeted. "Delivered any babies lately?"  
  
"Not since the last one," he told her as she gave him a girl of about three years old. "Hey, aren't you cute," he said, smiling at her. "We're going to give you all a check-up, and then give you some lunch. How does that sound?"  
  
The girl, not understanding a word of English, merely smiled sweetly. BJ liked her already.  
  
"Major Houlihan," Meg greeted. "How are you?"  
  
"Please, call me Margaret," she replied, taking a child. She decided that formalities were not required for such an event, especially coming from a person whom was not in the Army. "Hello, how are you?" She asked the boy whom she had just received. The boy stuck his tongue out at her and grinned.  
  
The children had all been taken to the Mess Tent, where they were given check-ups and some lunch. They eagerly ate the lumpy mess of food that Igor had served them, practically licking their bowls clean.  
  
The medical staff, meanwhile, performed checks on all the children. Frank saw to the health of one child, a boy that was deathly thin.  
  
"You should eat more," Frank told the boy, who was old enough to understand some English.  
  
Margaret overheard this, and pulled Frank aside as he dismissed the boy. "Major Burns, I think that what you said was callous, uncompassionate and totally untactful. These people have barely enough food to keep them alive as it is, they couldn't be expected to find more. Now, my fiancé, Colonel Donald Penobscott, would have been much kinder to the child," she gushed. Frank merely huffed before seeing to the next child.  
  
BJ made sure that he checked over the little girl that he had carried into the Mess Tent. "Well, you're just fine, aren't you," he told her rhetorically. "You've got the same smile as my daughter. I've not seen her for five months, she must be getting real big now."  
  
Hawkeye watched the scene as he checked one of the children. "You're fine," he told him. The boy put the ends of his fingers in his mouth and began to gnaw. Hawkeye took the hand out and looked at it. The nails were bitten and chewed away. "Hey, don't do that so much. You'll bite right up to your elbows," he said, tickling the small boy to show him he was joking.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Later that evening, Hawkeye and BJ had two children settled into their beds in the Swamp. As he had hoped, the girl that BJ had taken a fondness to was rooming with them. Her name was Sang-Li, "a beautiful name," BJ had declared.  
  
Frank was on Post-Op duty, so Hawkeye had no one to wind up in front of the youngsters, much to his chagrin. "There's always tomorrow," he consoled himself. He looked at the two children before him. "Story?" As soon as he uttered the word, two pairs of eyes lit up and their faces nodded vigorously.  
  
"Would you like the honours?" BJ asked.  
  
"After my tale about the squirrel and the number of bones in the hand? You have a go," he offered.  
  
"Okay," BJ began. "I take requests, but for now I'll choose one of my favourites. There were two men, one called Carlo and the other called Antonio."  
  
"A fascination with Italians?" Hawkeye asked.  
  
BJ shrugged and continued. "Carlo and Antonio were both very ill, and in a hospital. Carlo was allowed to sit up next to the window, and Antonio laid flat on his back."  
  
"That's when he was most dangerous to the nurses," Hawkeye commented.  
  
BJ chuckled. "Each afternoon, when Carlo was awake, he would describe the scenes at the window to Antonio. Antonio loved these. He loved the times when Carlo would describe ducks and swans in the pond, and young children playing ball in the park. Carlo described every detail, and Antonio would sit and imagine the scene."  
  
"It wasn't in our hospital," Hawkeye mumbled.  
  
"Well, one day, Carlo got better and left the hospital, so Antonio was moved up to the bed by the window. When he looked out, he saw only a brick wall in front of him. He asked the nurse, 'What is this? The man I was with looked out of this window and described a park with a pond and children playing. Why is there just a wall?'"  
  
"The nurse replied, 'he must have been trying to encourage you, sir.'"  
  
"'He lied to me. He never saw any of what he said.'"  
  
"'You are wrong, sir, he did see it. He saw it in his mind. For you see, good sir, your friend Carlo was blind.'" BJ looked up to see that both the children were sound asleep.  
  
Hawkeye simply said, "That was nice."  
  
BJ shrugged. "If it was so nice, why did they fall asleep?"  
  
"They liked it. They had no idea of what you were saying, but they liked it. See? They're smiling." Hawkeye laid down on his cot, yawning. "See you in the morning."  
  
"Yeah, see you."  
  
Hawkeye turned over and began snoring. BJ, though, stayed awake. He tiptoed over to the cot with Sang-Li in it, and sat by it. Her breathing was soft, and peaceful. He tucked a stray piece of fine, ebony hair behind her ear. God, she's so like Erin, he thought to himself. He sat by her cot, just looking at her.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
That was how Hawkeye found BJ in the morning; sitting by the cot, knees drawn up to his chest, and fast asleep. Hawkeye frowned, and shook his head. The two children sat up, wide-awake, looking hungry.  
  
"Good morning," Hawkeye greeted, sitting up and putting his boots. "Now, our favourite guests, if you would kindly step this way, our five-star- general hotel will now serve breakfast. Please note that our breakfasts, lunches and dinners contain no edible food whatsoever, and the hotel complies by placing the restrooms directly opposite the restaurant. Now, dear lady and gentlemen, I will escort you to the eating establishment." He took a hand each and led them to the Mess Tent, where Meg greeted them.  
  
"Good morning, sleep well?" Meg asked.  
  
"Very well, thank you," Hawkeye said. "These two are angels. Even Frank Burns couldn't find a bad word against them, he who bad-mouths the Pope," Hawkeye added.  
  
"Good to know," Meg said, watching the two children seat themselves at a table. "Where's BJ?"  
  
"Still asleep," Hawkeye replied. He sat nothing about where he was found asleep that morning.  
  
"There's still one child who hasn't been delivered," Meg said with concern. "He slept in Radar's office. When Radar woke up this morning, Hye-Jin was gone."  
  
"Shall I go look for him? I know this camp like the back of my hand, particularly the dark corners where no one but me and a woman of the female persuasion go," he added cheekily.  
  
"I don't doubt that. Thanks, Hawkeye, that would be a big help."  
  
Fifteen minutes later, Hawkeye found the child, alone in the Swamp. To Hawkeye's surprise and wonder, he was digging a hole next to Frank's bed. Hawkeye stood there for a moment, watching him. He had remembered that Frank had awoken early to go on Post-Op duty, and, now that he thought about it, remembered a shovel being out earlier, next to the hole. Hawkeye, being only half awake, had thought nothing of it.  
  
"Hye-Jin?" Hawkeye asked.  
  
The boy, about seven years old, looked up with a mix of fear and mirth in his eyes. He visually explained what he was doing. He put down the spade, and showed Hawkeye the hole. He then took some dirty clothes belonging to Frank and, with the help of a block of wood being used as the diameter, managed to spread them over the hole. "Spat," the boy said, most probably meaning 'splat.'  
  
Hawkeye laughed and smiled. "Good boy. Now, breakfast," he said, picking the child up and giving him a piggyback to the Mess Tent.  
  
"I found him, being a good boy," Hawkeye told Meg with a glint in his eye.  
  
"Whatever it is, I'm bound to find out later," Meg murmured. "Breakfast" she said to the child, who moved to sit at a table.  
  
Hawkeye was about to join the children when he heard the whirring of chopper blades. Moments later, the PA system blared, "Attention, all personnel. Incoming wounded. Sorry to spoil your breakfast," it added before the crackling ended.  
  
"Lovely," Hawkeye muttered sarcastically as he joined the staff running to the landing pads. The chaos had begun.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Klinger!" Meg called across the compound. "Would you and Radar mind looking after the kids? They need my help in the OR," she replied, running into the Scrub room.  
  
"Look after the kids?" Klinger asked in disbelief. What was he meant to do with them? He found Radar, who was in the Mess Tent with them.  
  
"Hey, Radar, we've got to look after the ids-kay," Klinger reported to him, eyeing the children as they ate their food. "Meg's in surgery."  
  
"What? All of them? There's at least ten of them, and not ten of us," Radar stated in disbelief.  
  
Klinger was about to say something when an idea occurred to him. "All right, don't worry, I've got it all planned. Hey, Igor," he called. "Keep them entertained for five minutes. Radar, you get a Korean dictionary, and I'll get whatever else we need. Don't worry, they'll love it."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"A little more suction here," Hawkeye said to the nurse. "How you holding up, Meg?"  
  
"Fine thanks," Meg replied. "The Colonel here does a great embroidery job."  
  
"BJ?"  
  
"Just closing," BJ replied.  
  
Hawkeye prepared himself for the next question. "And you, Frank?"  
  
"Just fine until you asked," Frank muttered, cursing as he found another bleeder.  
  
"If you're sure," Hawkeye muttered. "All right, he's ready for a road trip to Tokyo. Next one in," he called.  
  
Two corpsmen brought in the next wounded soldier. "Last one, Doc," they replied.  
  
"Thank God for that," BJ said.  
  
"He says no trouble," Father Mulcahy replied, grinning beneath his mask.  
  
"It's great to know that while my real father is back home in Crabapple Cove, I've got such a great temporary Dad," Hawkeye said as gloves were snapped onto his hands.  
  
"Speaking of families, who is looking after the children?" Potter asked, removing a fragment from inside the patient. "They should be eating lunch now."  
  
"I've left them in the hands of Radar and Klinger," Meg replied.  
  
"Good grief," Potter muttered. "I wonder whether that was a wise move or not."  
  
"I trust those two," Meg told him. "I'm sure they're fine."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"All right," Klinger said, clapping his hands together. The children looked his way. "Radar, look up 'dress up' in the dictionary."  
  
Radar did so, and said it to the children. They understood, and smiled with glee. Helped by Zale and Igor, they lined up, each received an outfit, and slipped it over their clothes.  
  
One boy crossed his arms. "I no wear dresses, I a boy," he said in broken English.  
  
"So am I, but look at me," Klinger replied, twirling in his polka-dot frock. "I'll tell you what. I'll find you a shirt, okay? Stay there." He was back moments later with Hawkeye's Hawaiian shirt. "How's this?" The boy nodded his approval.  
  
The clothes were all too big for the children, but they did not mind.  
  
"Hey, this could be great!" Klinger exclaimed.  
  
"What?" Radar asked.  
  
Klinger gathered Radar, Zale and Igor into a huddle and explained his plan.  
  
"That's great!" Radar was already busy looking up the words to describe what Klinger was saying. Once explained, the children jumped about with glee.  
  
"Well, Klinger," Zale began. "This time, you've come up with the goods."  
  
"Okay kids, that later, lunch first," Klinger said, remembering the time. He collected the dresses and hung them up as Igor served their lunch. He moved the rack back into his tent before running to the office to make an announcement.  
  
"Attention, all personnel," he boomed. "Tonight's entertainment will be held in the Mess Tent at 1900 hours. It's a surprise," he added, grinning.  
  
Those in surgery looked up. "A surprise?" Hawkeye asked.  
  
"Oh Lord, what's he cooking up now?" Potter wondered rhetorically. He then remembered who was in charge of looking after the kids. "Padre, could you check that the children are all right, please?"  
  
"Certainly, Colonel," Father Mulcahy replied, heading out of the OR. He arrived in the Mess Tent to find twelve children sitting at two tables, quietly eating their sandwiches. He reported back to Colonel Potter, who had finished surgery and was removing his scrubs in the Scrub room. "All is well. They're eating their lunch."  
  
"Good, good," Colonel Potter replied. "Actually, lunch sounds good about now."  
  
"Since when did lunch sound good?" Hawkeye asked as he and BJ filed into the room.  
  
"It may have sounded good once, but it has never tasted good," BJ countered, throwing his gown into the container with precision.  
  
"Well, it's either that or you starve," Colonel Potter said, heading towards the Mess Tent. Shrugging, both Hawkeye and BJ followed.  
  
As the three walked across the compound, they heard a scream and a curse emit from the Swamp. Looked at each other questioningly, they walked swiftly to tent number six, and opened the door to find Frank waist-deep in the ground.  
  
"It's one of them!" Frank bawled, pointing a wavering finger at the two Captains. "They, they dug a hole, and I fell in!"  
  
"I gathered that much," Potter said dryly. "But, how do you know that it was these two?"  
  
"Because whenever something like this happens to me happens, it's always those two!"  
  
"Which is frequently," Hawkeye said, trying unsuccessfully not to laugh.  
  
"And yet you're not in trouble frequently," the Colonel pointed out. "Burns, it could have been any number of people. You really must stop blaming Pierce and Hunnicutt," he lectured, walking out of the tent so that he too could laugh.  
  
"Yeah, you heard him," BJ said, turning his nose up in the air.  
  
"I think we've earned ourselves some kind of reputation here," Hawkeye added, also turning his nose up. They both marched out of the tent, following the Colonel to the Mess Tent.  
  
Frank sneered before he began his struggle to leave the hole. Faintly, he whimpered, "Isn't anyone going to help me out?"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The surprise entertainment was the talk of the afternoon within the camp. Everyone was trying to guess what was happening.  
  
"A... A... Alabama! Of course!"  
  
"We've had that one," BJ reminded his friend.  
  
"We have not. It's your go," Hawkeye ordered, pouting.  
  
"Fine, fine. Alabama... Hey! That's another A!"  
  
"That took you quite a while to work out," Hawkeye grinned.  
  
"All right. Aberdeen," BJ said.  
  
"Aberdeen?"  
  
"It's in bonnie Scotland," BJ informed him in an attempt at a Scottish accent.  
  
"I'll believe you," Hawkeye replied. "N... Naples."  
  
"We've had that one," BJ ventured.  
  
Hawkeye pointed a finger at him. "Don't start that again, or I'll burn ye kilt," Hawkeye threatened in an equally bad Scottish accent.  
  
"If ye burn me kilt, I'll be arrested for indecent exposure," BJ replied, his accent wavering.  
  
"A bilingual. You went from Scotland to Ireland in one sentence," Hawkeye told him.  
  
"Did not," BJ contradicted.  
  
"Before it gets childish, not from me though," Hawkeye added cheekily. "I'll change the subject. What do you think Klinger has in store for us tonight?"  
  
"Something interesting, I'll bet. A talk on how to get a Section Eight in the Army, maybe. He is the expert, after all, even though he's not yet been successful."  
  
"Not even our fearless leader knows what it is."  
  
"Does Radar?"  
  
"Yeah, but he's in on it, so he's not telling anyone."  
  
"Who else is?" BJ asked.  
  
"As far as I know, it's Klinger, Radar, Igor and Zale."  
  
"We'll get nothing out of Klinger and Radar. Everyone's tried, apparently," BJ said. "And getting information out of Zale is like getting blood out of a stone."  
  
"Getting anything from Zale is like getting blood out of a stone," Hawkeye muttered, remembering when he tried to requisition a pair of boots from the Supply Sergeant. "Face it, we'll just have to wait to find out."  
  
"Is that all anyone around this place can talk about?" Frank asked, walking over to the two Captains, who were seated in the sun outside the Swamp. "Isn't there anything more interesting going on around here?"  
  
"You missed the Nurses playing volleyball earlier, Frank," Hawkeye told him. "That was the best thing I've seen all week."  
  
"Perverted minds," Frank muttered underneath his breath.  
  
"Well, don't you want to know what's going on, Frank?" BJ asked.  
  
"I have no interest in any entertainment provided by a group of enlisted men," Frank spat, referring to them as though he was referring to a group of diseased murderers.  
  
"It's better than the entertainment provided by the Major that is standing directly in the sunlight," Hawkeye told him, then moving Frank out of the way with the use of his golf club.  
  
"Pish posh to you," Frank grumbled.  
  
"Come on, Frank. It's not nice to be left out," BJ said.  
  
"I'd have thought you'd have been used to it by now," Hawkeye said in mock surprise.  
  
Frank stomped off, looking for something better to do then be verbally degraded by the two Captains. "He just digs himself holes to fall in," BJ murmured, tipping his hat to shield his eyes.  
  
Hawkeye had stopped listening. He was thinking about how BJ had been acting since the kids, particularly Sang-Li, had arrived in the camp. Hawkeye had figured out that the girl had a lot of characteristics similar to those of Erin, and that was why BJ had taken a liking to her. He had meant to talk to BJ about it, but he could not find the right words. He would do it this evening, he decided.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Finally, the evening arrived. The members of the camp, even Frank, assembled into the Mess Tent. During the afternoon, Igor and Zale had worked tirelessly to set up a stage with a short catwalk. Curtains had been hoisted and attached to the top of the tent.  
  
Still no one apart from the four enlisted men, plus the children, knew anything of what was about to follow. Colonel Potter, although slightly afraid of what had been planned, trusted that Klinger knew what he was doing.  
  
Once everyone had settled down, Klinger walked onto the stage from behind one of the olive green curtains. He was dressed in a cream-coloured floor- line dress with matching pumps. He had a gold shawl draped around his shoulders, and a tiara and matching earrings. To top it off, he wore arm- length satin gloves.  
  
"Ladies and gentlemen," he began. "Thank you for attending tonight's performance, even though you have no idea what you are going to see." A few chuckles murmured from the audience. "I'll explain it to you. The children, our visitors to the camp, were entertained this morning by trying on my Section Eight clothes. They will now present them to you, in the form of a fashion show. Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for The Klinger Collection, as modelled by these children."  
  
The audience applauded as Klinger walked to one side of the stage. The children filed out onto the stage, each in a different one of Klinger's costumes. The spectators admired the show that had been put on, and the children, though some were shy and afraid of the khaki-clad humans, performed well as they walked along the stage in their attire. Klinger had spent the afternoon altering some of the longer dresses so that the children would not fall on the stage, and everyone appreciated the work that had gone into the presentation.  
  
When the boy in the Hawaiian top walked out onto the platform, Hawkeye called out, "Hey! That's my shirt!" The boy looked afraid, as though he had done something wrong. Seeing this, Hawkeye smiled and added, "It looks so much better on you, though." The boy interpreted that Hawkeye was not angry, and he too smiled as he carried on walking.  
  
Sang-Li was one of the last children to appear. She, one of the youngest orphans, tottered across the stage in a velvet shawl wrapped around her. Since she was the smallest of the group, she was given this to wrap around her, as the dresses would be too long. She smiled and waved at BJ. BJ watched her every motion, wishing it were Erin he was watching. Overcome by the longing to see his daughter, he got up and quickly left the tent. Hawkeye saw him go, and, knowing what was wrong, left also.  
  
He walked out into the Korean dusk to find BJ sitting on a small, dusty- brown hill with his back to the camp. His knees were drawn to his chest, and his eyes were looking intently at the stars as they began to shine through the darkness. Wordlessly, Hawkeye walked over and sat beside him. Nothing was said for some moments.  
  
Without turning his head to face Hawkeye, BJ said, "She looks so much like Erin."  
  
Hawkeye nodded, and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "I know."  
  
BJ dropped his forehead to his knees. "I really miss her." He hid his tears in his coarse khaki trousers. Hawkeye rubbed his back, soothing him.  
  
Back in the Mess Tent, the show was drawing to a close. All of the children reappeared on stage and took a group bow, as Radar had shown them to do that afternoon. They received a standing ovation from the audience. No one wanted to leave the Mess Tent yet, so they stayed, grabbed some coffee, and talked to the children and those involved in the production. Colonel Potter made his way through the crowd to Klinger.  
  
"Klinger, I don't know how I could have doubted you," he congratulated, shaking his hand.  
  
"Thank you, sir, I..." Klinger was cut off by the sound of a shell exploding very close to the camp.  
  
BJ, who was unloading his emotional baggage with Hawkeye, snapped his head up as he saw the bomb drop not one hundred feet in front of him. In the moment that he took to realise what was going on, another one went off, this time half the distance away.  
  
"Come on!" Hawkeye shouted, already on his feet. BJ followed suit and they ran through the compound. They saw Colonel Potter at the door of the Mess Tent, letting them in. They skidded through, falling over benches as they did so.  
  
"You two all right?" The Colonel asked.  
  
Hawkeye climbed to his feet. "I'm fine," he told him. "BJ?"  
  
BJ too sat up. "Fine and dandy, Colonel."  
  
The scene inside the Mess Tent was utter confusion. The children were terrified out of their minds. Some were screaming, covering their ears and shutting their eyes tightly, wanting the noises to go away. Others sat still, staring into the distance, not daring to move. Those were the ones that Hawkeye worried about most.  
  
The children were being comforted by personnel. Some nurses took care of a few, rocking them and soothing them. Margaret took care of one personally, whilst Frank looked on helplessly, not really knowing what to do with himself. Hawkeye walked through the crowds and found Hye-Jin, the boy who had dug the hole this morning.  
  
Hye-Jin was trembling in a corner, still clad in one of Klinger's outfits. He was dressed in the outfit Klinger used when he was trying to get discharged as a gypsy, right up to the headscarf.  
  
"Hey," Hawkeye greeted, crouching down beside the boy. "You remember him?" Hawkeye pointed to Frank, who was standing still in the middle of the room, hands in pockets.  
  
Hye-Jin looked up smiled, remembering. "Spat?"  
  
"Yep, he went splat," Hawkeye confirmed. The boy giggled as he imagined what might have happened. As another bomb crashed to the ground, Hawkeye took the child in his arms and used himself so shield Hye-Jin. Once the immediate danger was over, Hawkeye sat normally.  
  
The boy looked up to him. "Than-coo," he said. Hawkeye smiled and hugged him.  
  
BJ had found Sang-Li, who was being comforted by one of the nurses. Seeing him, the nurse picked the girl up and handed her to him.  
  
"Thank you," BJ replied.  
  
He sat down with her. "You probably don't understand what I'm saying." The girl continued to smile, indicating that she had no idea. "You probably don't understand why I've been treating you very well. I shouldn't have done, I shouldn't have favoured you. I did it because you remind me of my daughter, Erin, who I haven't seen in several months. It wasn't fair on you, the other kids, or me. I'm very sorry," BJ told her.  
  
The girl grabbed at his nose and laughed. He was forgiven.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The next morning, it was declared safe for the children to return to their orphanage. After breakfast, they were placed inside the wagon to go back to their home.  
  
"Klinger, thank you for entertaining this bunch yesterday," Meg said, showing her gratitude as Klinger gave her one of the children.  
  
"No trouble," Klinger told her. "I had fun with it."  
  
"You too, Radar," Meg added, as he gave her a young boy. "And thank Igor and Sergeant Zale for me, too."  
  
"I will do, I hope you had fun watching it," Radar called as he ran to the office to answer the telephone.  
  
"Ah, no, I need that," Father Mulcahy insisted as one of the children hung onto the cross around his neck, trying to claim it. "You have to become a priest first if you want that."  
  
"Thanks, Padre," Meg said, unhooking the boy's finger from around the cross.  
  
"God bless you," he said, straightening his cross.  
  
Hawkeye walked past the truck after having loaded a child in when he spotted something familiar. "Hey," he called, running back around the back and climbing in. He found the boy who had worn his shirt the previous day. "I know I said it looked good on you, but in truth it's not quite your size," he said, undoing the buttons. "If you visit again, I'll get Klinger to make you one, how does that sound?" He slipped the shirt off of the boy and, before he left the trailer, he ruffled Hye-Jin's hair, who poked his tongue out at him in reply.  
  
BJ handed over Sang-Li, kissing her on the cheek. "You take care, okay?"  
  
"She stole your heart," Meg noted, taking her from him.  
  
BJ nodded. "She reminds me of someone."  
  
Meg nodded understandingly. "Oh, Colonel, thank you," she said, taking the last child. "Thanks for everything. I'm sorry to barge in like I did..."  
  
Colonel Potter held up his hand to stop her speaking. "Absolutely no trouble, Meg. Our tent flaps are always open if the NKs coming knocking at yours."  
  
"Thank you, Colonel," she said, shaking his hand. She checked that everyone was there before starting the truck and driving back to the orphanage.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Later, in the Officers' Club, Klinger, Radar, Frank and Colonel Potter were enjoying a drink when they heard wolf-whistles from behind them. They turned and look to see Hawkeye and BJ walk into the room, clad in two of Klinger's most eye-catching clothes. Hawkeye was in Klinger's red-strapped dress, and BJ in a number that looked as though it had come out of 'Gone With The Wind.'  
  
As Klinger stormed over to them, Colonel Potter murmured, "I think they've finally lost it."  
  
"Perverts," Frank muttered.  
  
"Hey!" Klinger exclaimed. "What do you think you're doing?"  
  
"We took a leaf out of those kids' book," BJ explained.  
  
"I'M the one working the Section Eight, not you!"  
  
"Who says we're doing it for that?" Hawkeye asked, sitting next to Colonel Potter.  
  
"You're doing a pretty good job if you are," the Colonel muttered.  
  
"See!"  
  
"I think they left the kids here," Potter muttered, knocking back the rest of his drink.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


End file.
